Mothers are Lame

baby_im_bored2

Being a mom is boring. Its just lame. Its not interesting. It is about as exciting as watching paint dry. And before you start commenting up a storm about how untrue this is, how mothers are unsung heroes and need all the props in the world – well, I actually wholeheartedly agree with you. But still, in the eyes of the world, when a mother starts talking about her day, said world’s eyes glaze right over. And you know I’m right.

Here’s the irony. While a mother’s day might be considered lame, it is actually fast paced and filled with action.  A typical day might include learning how to change a poopy diaper while using every one of your limbs to pin that child so they don’t get up or take a swipe at something they shouldn’t. Or how about making 2 lunches at the same time while piercing shrieks are directed right at you. Cold sweat anyone? Or many don’t realize that mothers play goalie many afternoons, keeping balls from rolling into streets or going over fences. Or try shopping with kids. You want excitement? I’ll give you excitement.

But when a friend or family member or even someone who does technically care very much asks you “How was your day?” Just try and rehash what you did. Try and explain how tough that poopy diaper was. How many times you had to put your two year old back into time out. How you had to pick grapes out of the speaker. No matter what adventure you had been on that day that challenged you to your wits end, one thing remains true…

It’s boring.

Yup, rehashing a mother’s day just does not get anyone’s pulse racing. I don’t know why but its the truth. Its as if something is lost in translation.

“And you should have seen him, writhing around, I had each of my feet pinning his legs and the wipes in one hand and I was leaning on his body, he kicked me once in the head (luckily the bleeding wasn’t too bad) BUT I got it all, I got ALL the poop off his ass! Amazing, huh?”

*Crickets*

Boring. Lame.  It’s not interesting.

So where does that leave mothers? When that’s all they do? When all that they have accomplished is simply reflected in clean, fed, healthy, sleeping children at the end of a day? Well, its leaves them with just that. Clean, fed, healthy sleeping children. And expecting some kind of award, or oohing and ahhing for this achievement, just won’t get you anywhere. Don’t be bitter. It’s your gig now. There is not a lot of positive feedback and there are no bonuses for extra time put in. The reality is folks don’t really want to hear about every single detail and I’m afraid that makes it pretty damn isolating. Sorry. I know we deserve red carpets and gold trophies – but that’s just the way it is.

Now don’t get me wrong. I love being home with my kids. I know how lucky I am to have this time with them. Its just, well, I can’t expect anyone who wasn’t there next to me changing that poopy diaper to really give a crap (so to speak).

Mothers are lame. Healthy, clean, fed, sleeping children certainly are NOT. But mothers and their adventures are, no bones about it, *yawn*, next subject please, laaaame.

And you know what’s even more lame? A post about moms talking about their days and how lame that is. Is anyone even reading this? Bueller? …Bueller?

(Oh and one more thing. If you think you get crickets telling people what you do home with your kids all day, try telling them you blog. *Blink* Maybe my next post needs to be titled “But Bloggers are REALLY Lame.”)

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12 Comments

Filed under Children, Family, Mothers, Parenting, Reality check

12 responses to “Mothers are Lame

  1. Made me smile! Good post. Lisa

  2. I love this post very funny and so true. No kudos for moms!

  3. Ah, yes. Your book should be called The Ennui of Motherhood. 🙂

  4. Or instead of “Hes Just Not That Into You” it would be “They’re Just Not That Into Your Kids”.

  5. That made me laugh out loud! Too true!

  6. Your Hot SIL (not Meryl, you doofus)

    Oh, well. It’s not like anyone else’s job sounds that interesting when you break it down:

    “Well, first I had some bad coffee, and took the long way around the cube pen because I was avoiding my boss. Then, I filed my TPS reports in ten minutes and spent then next fifty minutes reading MorningsideMom’s blog and playing Minesweeper to make an even hour to bill the client. So, what did YOU do today.”

    Makes “Watched Cinderella III while filing six months of utility bills” sound FASCINATING. And, that’s how I spent MY day.

  7. I had a really exciting day, thank you very much. Got dressed, did my hair, AND put makeup on. Got the baby fed and ready, backed the car out of the driveway to head to the oh so glamorous Walmart Super Center, then got the damn van stuck in the icy, slushy, snow. Damn. Know what you’re saying!

  8. “And expecting some kind of award, or oohing and ahhing for this achievement, just won’t get you anywhere. Don’t be bitter. It’s your gig now. There is not a lot of positive feedback and there are no bonuses for extra time put in. The reality is folks don’t really want to hear about every single detail and I’m afraid that makes it pretty damn isolating. Sorry. I know we deserve red carpets and gold trophies – but that’s just the way it is.”

    Makes me like you ALMOST as much as the bumper stickers on your car. 🙂

  9. Deb

    I used to just sub out words. So my kids could be “kingpins” and my house was “The Commissioner” and wiping ass was “making a bust” and the park was “da street.” So my day could be just one bust of kingpins after another, and then I couldn’t wait for a chance to break away from a meeting with the Commissioner because I felt so trapped and needed some action on the street.

    Not that I had anyone to listen to me when I talked like this.

    If I had only had a blog!

  10. Know what’s really boring? People who talk about work all the time. Work that doesn’t entail watching your kids learn new things and say fantastically surprising things. I’ll take boring any day.

  11. Kels

    This has me laughing! So true 🙂

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