Cheerio Glue: You Know You Want It.

Are you looking for that special one-of-a-kind shellac to glue down and seal up all of your household knick knacks? Are you tired of cheap Elmer’s glue that peels off or expensive crazy glues that never work anyway?

Try Cheerio Glue.

Discovered by a mother of two boys, she swears by her now famous product.

“For years now, I have been trying to pry hardened Cheerios off my wood table or tiled floors. It took my 6 ft 4″ husband – and my GOOD butter knives – to get those gosh darn cheerios unstuck. And then I thought, ‘Well, why not put Cheerios to good use?'”

And she did. Now she glues everything in her house with Cheerio Glue. Chairs don’t slide across the floor anymore. The cat bowl stays in place. Good thing she likes TV because her new flat screen TV is now permanently part of her wall. She even created a tiled mosiac pattern of cheerios on the floor of her guest bathroom.

“All my guests comment on the originality – and permanence – of my art. Right now I am working on bedazzeling all my rugs with Cheerios. The kids are a great help just by eating their breakfast while I work. It’s fun for the whole family. Shoot, I can’t wait to see the reactions of my in laws when they come for the holidays!”

Broken coffee mugs, snapped pencils and busted plastic toys are all stuck back together, good as new, with a little Cheerio Glue.

And the best part about it? It’s easy and its cheap. Just pour a bowl of Cheerios, add milk and there ya have it. The liquid that forms at the bottom of your bowl can be used to glue anything your little heart desires. Simply drizzle it and wait. Before you know it, you will have a hard, fused, clear seal that no household cleaner can penetrate. Ever.

“Jr. is thrilled to know he can fix his broken Nintendo controller he smashed in a fit of rage. Now he just eats some Cheerios, drizzles it on and, VOILA, good as new. It really teaches him he can do anything if he puts his mind to it. Now he’s gotten all the way to level 78 on Super Galactic Mega Mario Brothers! Even when he gets real real mad at it. I am so proud.”

Impressive stuff. Not only that, the Government is currently testing it’s strength as a super powered protective coating for armored tanks – a little something from home on those tanks that actually protects our men. And did ya hear? Rumor has it Governor Palin has been adding some to her hairspray for those “power Gov” doos she sports – leave it to another mom to put Cheerio Glue to use in something meaningful!

I bet you are dying to get your hands on some Cheerio Glue right now. Well, go out and buy yourself some Cheerios! And if you mail in 254 Cheerio box UPC symbols by November 1, we’ll send you a handy little plastic bottle to store your glue in!

But wait there’s more!

If you act now, we’ll throw in an extra glue bottle and even some Palin Cheerio Hair spray!

Nothing is more American that Cheerios, so go make some glue today and show the world how full of shellac we really are!

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4 Comments

Filed under Cheerios, Sarah Palin, Silliness

4 responses to “Cheerio Glue: You Know You Want It.

  1. LOL! Is that how she gets her hair like that? I thought it was Aquanet and prayer!

  2. lol this was to funny to read!

    Thanks for the winter clothing tips on my blog! I am starting to feel better about winter now.

  3. Shan D.

    Three of my favorite things: Cheerios, mosaics, and being a guest at my bff’s house. I promise to visit soon!!!!

  4. Your article is very funny, but it is a bit scary, don’t you think? I mean, if Cheerios can do that to your furniture, I wonder what they do to your insides? Yuk!

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