I am absolutely 100% guilty of loving cheesy stuff. After watching George Michael last night on America Idol (I thought he was amazing, by the way), his performance reminded me about my closeted taste in cheesy music. And I can assure you, much to my husband’s horror, I am shameless about it. I would bet that we are ALL in the closet about some artist or another. And you’re probably somewhat concerned that if the outside world really knew what you listened to, you would be tarred, feathered, and heckled ruthlessly. To inspire all of you to stand up for the cheese you believe in, I am coming out of the closet. While I listen to plenty of “regular” fairly cool (I think) stuff, here are my favorite categorically cheesy music artists. Maybe some aren’t that cheesy to a few of you. If that’s the case, then cool. That makes me feel better. Maybe I have some hope of fairly decent music taste? (snort) …NAH.
- George Michael – From Wham! to his days in bathroom stalls, I have been by his side. The man is talented!
- Hall and Oats – My fist tape was Rock and Soul, part 1 and I played it into the ground. I think I went through 3 copies of that tape before CDs were available. While I was pregnant with my second child, I saw them in concert. Absolutely amazing; Daryl still knows how to move those long flowing locks (sigh).
- Prince – Have you heard his version of “Nothing Compares to You”? Please. Nothing compares to him. And his Sign of the Times album was amazing.
- Justin Timberlake – NSync and today… what? He’s GOOD!
- Def Leppard – Hysteria was the BEST. Pour some sugar on me? You bet!
- The Carpenters – Karen Carpenter had the voice of angel. If you dare to disagree, let’s take it outside. No one disrespects my Karen. (So intimidating, ain’t I?)
- The Bee Gees – Basically the whole Saturday Night Fever Soundtrack means good, clean, dance crazy fun.
- Heart – Oh you bet. And yes, their old stuff was good, but I met them in the 80s when their hair taller than my husband. “Never”, “Alone”, “All I wanna do is make love to you”. I LOVE those girls.
- The Culture Club – You laugh, but if I play my Best of Boy George, I guarantee you’ll turn it up when you hear those intro words “Give me tiiiiiime. To, realize, my criiiime…”
- Michael Jackson– I know I know… I guess I am referring mostly to Thriller, Off the Wall and other songs when he was sane. Or sane-ish. Obviously, the man was (is??) talented. At 10, I used to dream his limo would break down in front of my house and he’d need to come in and use the phone. Yeah, that’s so likely in suburbia Washington D.C., I know. And yup, I even had a glove and Michael Jackson pins on my jean jacket. …Seriously, none of you all are going to respect me in the morning, are you?
- Phil Collins– From Genesis to But Seriously, I had a hankering for that little bald man’s music. (What DOES Susudio mean??) But when he started doing Disney soundtracks, he kind of lost me.
- Rod Stewart– This is actually my husbands secret cheesy music favorite. But that old school “Do you think I’m sexy” song might just take the cake! Have you seen the video? Hysterical.
- Lionel Richie– During his years head to foot in sequins with The Commodores and then as a solo artist in the 80s, his hits were endless…. “Endless Love”, really.
I could go on, but lets stop here. Much to my horror, most of these artists were popular – yet still just as cheesy – in the 80s. If my youngest sister in law read this list, she would hassle me to no end. Not only has this list outed me as a tacky, cheese loving, top 40s listening dork… it’s nailed me as an OLD dork. But I will leave you with it, none the less. What are your favorite closested but oh-so-cheesy musical artists? While you ponder, watch this – can your cheese honestly compete with mine?