My Feng Shui bitch fix.

I have only read one book about Feng Shui (Lillian Too’s 168 Feng Shui Ways to Declutter Your Home , and it was great, I recommend it highly) – so as as result, I will hardly call myself even a Feng Shui novice. I do find theories of Chinese medicine, Buddhism, Taoism and the rest of it extraordinarily interesting, even if half of it flies over my way too westernized, white bread head. But I have gleaned some very basic seeds of wisdom from reading that one book and cruising around various websites. I’d even go so far as to say that I’ve been officially enlightened. How, you ask? I have learned how to get myself out of a very bad mood. And THAT, my friends, is magic in a bottle. Want to know how I do it? I will share my insights.

To bring Caroline out of a deep and dark bitchtastic funk – usually brought on by PMS, money stress, parenting stress, random guilt stress, exhaustion or a combination of all five – I must bring together three important elements. And they are:

  1. LIGHT. First thing I do is run around my house and open every curtain I can. I throw open the sliding door and let that clean bright light and air pour in. If it’s night, I will light candles that have a bright open flame and put them dead center of the counter top, coffee table or where ever I can see it. (If the kids are still awake – groan – keep that candle up high and hope their bedtime procrastination rituals don’t cancel out the candle’s small bit of healing power.) I will also point out that a nice smelling candle certainly helps and I give props to any aromatherapy that might be curing what ails me also.
  2. MUSIC. I then put on the most relaxing, uplifting music I have. Sometimes Jazz does the trick, or India Arie, or even reggae can do wonders. Something positive. While I may feel tempted to put on my brooding chick playlist (Ani DiFranco, Alanis Morrisette, Sarah McLaughlin, Amy Winehouse), I avoid it. Positive, happy, upbeat music ONLY.
  3. WATER. I am so very lucky to have some fresh water ponds out back which truly bring me peace. (I’m not so lucky when gators take refuge there but lets not focus on that part, positive thoughts, right?) When my kids make me nuts, I walk onto my back porch (and throw them to the gators – I’m kidding!) – I just take it in. It’s quite something to just look at water. The reflections, the sounds around it, the smells, it all soothes me. The same thing happens at the beach or on a boat. If you don’t have this sort of access, take a bath. Or possibly invest in one of those small fountains that trickle water. And don’t rule out hydrating yourself too. They say we should drink 8 large glasses of water a day. It will keep us awake, energized and peeing like a mad woman on the half hour. However you find water in your day, it helps, I swear it does.

That’s it. Those three. Put them together and it’s a guaranteed fix for “mean Caroline”. And if all of those three still don’t work? I usually delve deeper into the water element. Did you know there is water in wine? Its true, a scientifically proven fact. So I pour myself a healthy sized glass of Pinot and call my best friend to bitch, with my light, music and water going on all around me. Now *THAT* always always does the trick.

These are my mystical insights for today. Be well, prosper and all that stuff.



1 Comment

Filed under Deep thoughts, Religion, Self-analysis

One response to “My Feng Shui bitch fix.

  1. Gail

    I would add two additional fixes:

    Get Caroline out of a crowded situation

    If all else falls, bring in her brother Kevin

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